Narcissistic Abuse Recovery Therapy
If so, and even if you’re not sure …. YOU:
- May be feeling alone, exhausted and confused in this difficult relationship,
- Tolerate strange and abusive behaviour,
- “Walk on eggshells” around this person, always feel “on alert”,
- Might feel “addicted” to this person and you keep going back, hoping it will “be better this time?”
- Have dissonant thoughts, always comparing and contrasting – “I love him/I hate him”, “She’s good/She’s bad”, “I trust/I don’t trust”
- And, even though you try to explain it to friends and family, they simply do not understand.
Here are some of the classic behaviours of the pathological Narcissist … THEY:
- Have a grandiose sense of their own self importance
- Need constant attention and admiration
- Lack empathy
- Rarely take responsibility for their mistakes and blame others, “never the bad one”
- Don’t respect authority or laws
- Are entitled and feel superior to others, need to “one up” everyone
- Make friends too easily and/or they do not have any long term friends
- Begin relationships with “a bang” of intense romance then strange behaviours set in
- Are charming to the outside world and erratic and abusive behind closed doors
- Play the victim
- Alternate positive and negative treatment, resulting in intermittent reinforcement
- Easily share their expectations of you but never ask your expectations of them
- Constantly “raise the bar” in expectation of you and what they expect from you
- Do not fight fair – they stop speaking to you or they leave
- Perceive criticism often and subsequently RAGE or go SILENT
- Need to “win at all cost”
- Have a history of failed relationships due to lying or cheating
- Lie about small things, big things, all things
- Gaslight and lie pathologically (pervasive and enduring)
- Use double-talk, circular conversations, and language to instil fear, obligation and guilt
- Often project their own feelings, realities onto you
- Make slanderous, preposterous statements about you, directly to you
- Make impulsive life altering decisions without any regard to how it affects them or family
- Isolate you from others who might see the relationship as abusive
- Often display an obvious and distinguishable smirk on their face
- Mirror your emotions – they can look concerned but do not actually feel it
- When you look into their eyes, you cannot actually “feel” them
- Exhibit easily identifiable, repetitive life patterns
- Have a deluded sense of reality
- Act like the Dr. Jekyll/Mr. Hyde character
AND … YOU feel like you are in a relationship that constantly brings feelings of UNCERTAINTY, CONFUSION … and leaves you feeling UNSAFE (emotionally, mentally and maybe even physically)!
If any of this seems true, you have likely been subject to a Cluster B personality disorder, (someone with a personality impairment also known as a character disorder) as determined by the DSM-4 and DSM-5 (Diagnostic Statistical Manual, American Psychiatric Association) and, your brain has likely been injured by the dual dysregulation (Complex PTSD and Cognitive Dissonance) perpetuated by the Cluster B’s behaviours.
The Narcissistic Personality Disordered person has classic, identifiable patterns of behaviour that can hurt you:
- Abuse Cycle – Idealization (Love bombing) – Devalue (Subtle, insidious putdowns/blame) – Discard (Disappearing/emotional abuse)
- Triangulation – bringing in the “ex” or a third party to cause confusion/comparison
- Gaslighting – when you know you’ve read it “right”, but they try to convince you, you’ve read it “wrong”
- Cognitive Dissonance – torn between believing what you want to believe and what you know is the truth
- Trauma Bonding – attachment dilemma that occurs from narcissistic abuse – betrayal, neglect, lies, silent treatments
- Flying Monkey – third party who acts on behalf of a narcissist usually for a deliberate abusive purpose
- Stockholm Syndrome – emotional trauma bond of target/victim with the abuser, in order to survive their ordeal of living under threat
- Smear Campaign – intentional, premeditated effort to discredit the reputation of a target/victim of the narcissist/sociopath
- Hoovering – attempt by a Narcissist/Sociopath to “suck” their target/victim back into the relationship, named after the Hoover vacuum cleaner.
At first these behaviours are hard to see, but as you become more aware and trust your inner feelings, you will begin to see these simple, classic, identifiable behaviours more clearly. And yes, this is actually happening!
Narcissistic abuse is a real thing, often causing severe cognitive dissonance (internal conflict) for its targets.
Symptoms of Narcissistic Abuse and Cognitive Dissonance/PTSD:
- intense emotions and pain in the body
- panic, terror, dread attacks, anxiety, stress, depression
- feeling unsafe, jumpy, vulnerable, don’t know what to do next
- obsessed with seeking answers, 24/7 detective, stalking the abuser (online, in-person)
- brain fog, insomnia, nightmares, waking up in a panic
- helplessness, hopelessness, powerless (the dark triad is a real thing caused by abuse)
- feeling heavy shame, confusion (“how did this happen? maybe its my fault? is it really abuse?”)
- wanting so badly to believe it isn’t true
- feeling a loss of self, no control in life, not “who you really are”
- friends and family don’t “really get it”
- irrational loyalty to the abuser due to cognitive dissonance (returning to abuser over and over)
- addictions get worse (alcohol, drugs, shopping etc.)
If this is happening to you it’s important to get help!
And recovery from this type of relationship can be fast tracked when you work with someone who understands pathological narcissism and its effects on you, who can validate your experience and who will use Brainspotting to heal the trauma experiences in you highlighted in the pathological love, family, or work relationship.
Narcissistic Abuse Recovery Therapy
Get back to yourself!
- Address acute symptoms – cognitive dissonance, regulation, self care!
- Help with divorce, parallel parenting, legal and direct communication with the narcissist.
- Tools and homework for recovery from Narcissistic Abuse.
- Brainspotting to regulate your amygdala and parasympathetic system to homeostasis (ie. to feel better!!)
NA Recovery Therapy
NA recovery therapy begins with assessment of where you are in the recovery process (even if you’ve just become aware of narcissistic abuse today!) and goes through a step-by-step healing process, drug-free, to get you back to your authentic self. For most, this is a medium to long term therapy process, your brain has been stressed for a period of time and needs “rewiring” back to a healthy state.
It’s important to heal from from narcissistic abuse or you may stay in a constant state of severe cognitive dissonance which in the end will cause isolation, avoidance, and could cause dissociation of self, in other words a complete break from reality.
This is the hard truth about Narcissistic Abuse!!
- I am currently accepting new clients.
- Please email me for my current fees and how to book an appointment: [email protected]
- If you are claiming sessions through insurance, please contact your insurance company to confirm you are covered for therapy with a licensed Registered Psychotherapist, College of Registered Psychotherapist of Ontario.
I work exclusively with targets of Narcissistic Abuse. I have fine tuned the recovery therapy process to move you through therapy as quickly as possible. You do NOT have to suffer anymore. Commit to healing yourself with a therapist who understands what you’ve experienced.
Your road to Recovery!
It is not your fault you were targeted by the pathological narcissist, but it is your responsibility to heal. Click below, and let’s get started on getting you to a better place!